Day 8: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)
Today, I’m sharing with you a personal story that occurred yesterday. Originally, our plans for the day included the whole family going to one of my son’s soccer game. It was pouring rain so I ended up going solo to the game and my husband stayed home with the other five kids. My other son needed help with his homework but he didn’t want his stepdad’s help. Wait, you mean stepfathers get push back too???? Yes, it’s normal for all stepkids to resist help from a stepparent.
In today’s vlog, I share more of the story and then what was going on in my son’s mind when he declined his stepfather’s help. Yes, I’m grateful he shared what he was thinking because those two have a great relationship and I would have never guessed that my son felt the way he did about getting homework help from my husband.
What I forgot to share in my vlog is that my son and my husband (his stepdad) played Stratego while I was gone and my son beat him. Those two spending time together after homework was complete tells me that my son wasn’t saying “I don’t want to spend time with you,” to my husband but rather “I don’t feel comfortable doing my homework with you. It’s something I like doing with my dad.”
Takeaway: Next time one of your stepkids resists your help, pause for a moment and understand they may have a very good reason (in their mind for it). Don’t take it personally but rather use it as an opportunity to reassure them that you are available should they change their mind. This is a teachable moment to model consistency and flexibility to them.
Your thoughts on the vlog and story? Do you have a question or issue you’d like me to address in upcoming vlog posts? Please share. Thanks.