My personal brew


On December 14, 2012 the unspeakable happened at Sandy Hook elementary school. My heart is heavy for the families impacted. The ripple effect of pain cannot even be measured or described.

I had planned that day to write and share a post on gifts to give your stepkids. When I heard the news (actually read on twitter Friday), I wept openly at the grocery store for all the parents impacted (parents, stepparents, grandparents, all those who love the victims). My heavy heart was also weighed down with worry for ALL SIX of my kids (my four biological kids and my two stepdaughters).

When the kids came home that day, I hugged them all a little tighter and loved on all of them. Love… it’s what we want all kids to feel. I unplugged all weekend to really plug into my family. Time well spent. But today rolled around and I felt prompted to sit down and share some gifts that we can give our kids (our stepkids and our biological kids).

At Christmas, we are reminded of the love God bestowed upon us when He gave us the gift of His son. We love (or want to love) this time of the year and we want our children to feel loved. We want love for all kids regardless of the blood that runs through their veins. My stepdaugthers may not have my DNA but they do have my heart.

I am saddended when I read of the struggles that many co-parents and stepparents face and how those challenges seem to get ramped up over the holidays. I recently read a tweet from a stepmom sharing how the mom of her stepdaughter ripped the shoes off of her feet because they were purchased by the dad and stepmom. I’ve received emails from stepmoms who say that gifts that are purchased are either not allowed to be brought to their mom’s house or are even taken from them when they are. I’ll never understand how any parent puts their hurt onto their child. (Please note, I’m not saying moms do this only. Parents who are hurting transfer their pain to their kids and that is not confined to moms.)

Maybe, just maybe the horror that occurred Friday will soften the hearts of all parents and not pit children between two homes when co-parenting is present.

Having said that I wanted to share some ideas for gift giving to your stepkids this season. Gifts that can grow the bond between you and your kids and that can’t be taken away…..

Give the gift of experience – a memory cannot be taken away. Unlike a toy that will eventually end up in the landfill or clothing that they will likely out grow or like, an experience will last a lifetime.

Consider planning a fun trip; a day out, or a simple activity like a cooking class, ski lesson, ice skating, etc…..

If you or your husband have frequent flyer miles, consider using them for a day trip. Find free things to do in your city or a big city you can fly or drive to. Use groupon or living social to find experiences you can give your kids.

With an experience, you are giving your kids the gift of time and of memories. That can never be taken away.

Give a Hallmark Recordable book- I love these books! Record your voice and/or your husband’s voice reading a story. Your child can have it with them and listen to you read them to sleep at night even when they aren’t with you. The only caveat I would caution is to know whether this book would be welcomed in mom’s home. Even though we don’t have control over what mom does, we don’t want to give our kids a gift that could cause an issue for them. Perhaps they could keep it at your home if you don’t believe mom will like it. Actually, you could consider purchasing two different recordable books; one that you record and one for them to give to mom and have her record herself reading. This would be a great way of “telling” your kids how much you love and support their relationship with their mom – that there are no loyalty “wars” in your mind.

Purchase Cooking Supplies/Cookbook - put together a gift basket of fun kitchen gadgets and cookbooks that your stepchild can use when they are with you. Help them plan special menus and items to make together.

Give the Gift of Family Time – give your kids a new game or purchase a family membership somewhere. Whether it be an interactive video game or a board game… playing games together builds family memories. Our family loves Apples to Apples, Bananagrams, Wii Sports and Wii Just Dance games. This year, we bought the kids Ticket to Ride! We are looking forwward to playing it with everyone.

Consider purchasing a membership to the Zoo, Science Center, Children’s Museum, etc….. and then make it a point to go when you are all together.

Sponsor a Child in their nameWorld Vision provides an amazing way to truly teach your child to give back while at the same time gaining a perspective on giving and how children in other parts of the country live. I started sponsoring a young girl from Albania when I was a single mom. I wanted my kids to give to other kids and connect with another child. Through the seven years of sponsorship, we have developed a close relationship. We love to write to her and send her small gifts and we love hearing from her. Sponsoring a child is $35.00 a month and when we think of how we can spend that friviously, it makes the amount that much more impactful.

Make a “Love You” jar or “Things To Do” jar – write out things you/your husband love about your child. Also, write down things you can do with each other; bake a cake, plan a movie night in, paint pottery, go to a local sports event, have a spa night at home…. Get creative. The child can pick something out of it and you can plan to do the item. If it’s a love jar, they can feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing they are loved and cared for.

The Gift of Positive Messages - gift a chalkboard to your stepchild that they can hang in their room. Write positive messages on it. Let them get creative. If a chalkboard isn’t big enough, consider painting a wall with chalkboard paint or painting a dresser with iet. Get creative.

I also love Wallhogs. Last year I purchased Wallhogs of my two boys. They think it is really cool to have this larger than life cut out of themselves on their walls.

Give the Gift of You and Your Story - consider purchasing books, movies, toys, etc… that you loved when you were the age of your stepchildren. It’s a great way to connect and share an item and an experience.

Regardless of what you leave under the tree or send to them, I humbly caution you about giving a gift with expectations attached. When we have expectations and they aren’t met, we are often left feeling so disappointed. Even when we don’t make our kids “choose” between homes, they can feel such loyalty – “if I like this gift, will it hurt mom’s feelings?” And many stepmoms struggle with doing so much for their stepkids and feeling like their efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated.

In our book Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace, Gayla Grace and I speak candidly and with wisdom regarding the joys and heartaches of stepfamily life during the holidays. As a bonus feature we share family traditions that you can start with your blended family. Traditions make memories and memories live on in the hearts of those you love.

Would love to hear what type of gifts you give your stepkids? What are your thoughts on the above listed ideas?

 

Today is 12-12-12 and I’m here to share with you the top 12 gifts you can give your stepkids. They may not be what you are expecting.

While Christmas is a time of joy, children who live between two homes can find celebrating the holidays stressful. Where will I wake up Christmas morning? Will mom or dad be mad if I’m not with them? Why can’t we celebrate our traditions as a family like we used to? are just some of the questions that run through the hearts and minds of children whose parents are no longer together.  

This year, keep in mind the pain and frustration that Christmas can trigger for your stepchild. Holidays can be even tougher if their other home isn’t cooperating with you and your spouse in sharing time and celebrations. You can’t control what your husband’s ex does but you can control how you allow it to impact you and your home. Give your stepkids the priceless gift of making their holiday as stress free as possible.

Consider these top twelve gifts for your stepchildren:

  1. The gift of positive co-parenting and a peaceful holiday schedule. Work out a schedule between the two homes in a peaceful and positive manner without the involvement of the kids. If you have to acquiesce on having the kids Christmas morning so they don’t have to choose or be shuffled between two homes, do so gracefully. While it will be a painful decision, your children will appreciate and benefit from it. Remember, the holidays are when you are all together. We may have to celebrate on a different date but we can still celebrate and make memories.
  2. The gift of patience, grace and mercy. Hurting people hurt others and often the holidays can trigger the worst in a child who is still dealing with the pain of their parents’ divorce or the death of a parent. In addition, if the mom of your stepchild is causing issues for you and your husband… your stepchild feels it and can turn and take it out on you and dad. Extend patience, grace and mercy to your stepchild and extend it to your spouse and yourself as well. Holiday time can be stressful.
  3. The gift of humor. Have a sense of humor. If schedules change or things don’t go as planned, try your best to look at the bright side and find humor. Watch funny movies as a family and watch some with just your sweetheart. Make time to laugh.
  4. The gift of self-care. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival. You can’t take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself. Take a few minutes every day to do something that refreshes you. Devotions, reading a book, going for a walk, having a cup of coffee in peace are all ways to re-energize your body and soul. When you take care of yourself, you are better equiped to take care of others.
  5. The gift of respecting their traditions. When two families come together they bring two sets of family cultures and traditions to the marriage. Communicate with your spouse how you celebrate Christmas and understand how they and their kids have celebrated. Work to respect everyone’s traditions. Children don’t have to participate in the “other” family’s traditions but they need to respect them.
  6. The gift of creating new family traditions. Traditions create memories and can serve to bond a family together and create your own unique identity. Think of some new traditions that you can do as a stepfamily.
  7. The gift of respecting the role of their parents. Yes! Obviously, you love your spouse and it’s important for the security of the marriage that you continue to nurture your spouse and your relationship. You also love and adore your stepkids and as hard as it may be to do, you also need to respect the role of their other parent. You may not like this person. They may say toxic things about you that come from a place of pain and bitterness inside of them but you need to respect their position in your stepchild’s life and not ever bad mouth them to the child. God commands us to “love thy mother and father.” He does not say love your honorable mother and honorable father. Children are wired to love their parents regardless of who they are. You will be seen in a positive light by your stepchildren if you accept and respect their role. (Note, you don’t need to respect them as a person but you do need to respect that they are your stepchild’s parent and not talk harshly about them to the kids.)
  8. The gift of no expectations. This is a gift you give both your stepchild and yourself. Don’t create unrealistic expectations for the holidays that stepfamily life simply can’t live up to. And don’t do things for your stepkids with an expectation in mind. If you buy all their gifts expecting a thank you and you don’t get one, you will be devastated. Buy them gifts because YOU WANT TO not because you want to get thanked or hope it will bring you closer.
  9. The gift of unconditional love and acceptance. Love and accept your stepchildren as is. You didn’t raise them from birth, you can’t control who they are or what they become. Love them for being your spouse’s child and accept them without condition.
  10. The gift of faith. The greatest gift you can give them is the gift of faith. Teach them that their self-worth is not of our culture but in God’s love for us. Children are more likely to follow what we do than what we say. Live your life the way you want your children and stepchildren to live. When a problem arises, take time to pray about it. Practice family devotions at the dinner table. And teach them God’s rules for living. That way no matter whose home they are in this holiday season, they can live and behave according to God’s commandments.
  11. The gift of time. Give your stepkids your time and attention. Give them time with dad. Give them time to adjust. We call the day that my kids come back from dad’s “detox day” where the kids have to acclimate to our rules and way of doing things. Their dad and I do things somewhat differently (neither right nor wrong – just different) and it can be hard for the kids to go between the two sets of rules. We give them time to settle back in and we give ourselves that same gift of time and grace.
  12. The gift of a strong marriage.  A strong, connected marriage blesses the children. While kids may try and push you apart…. they are seeking stability and they find that in a positive and solid marriage.

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas. Know and accept the fact that the holidays can be a time of joy and a time of stress for stepfamilies. The reality is that life is hard and sometimes the holidays can accentuate it. Hold on to hope and press on without letting any potential toxic situations define you or your mood. You can do it and your stepchildren will be thankful for it.

What are your thoughts on this gift list? Stay tuned for my next post where I’ll share actual gift ideas that you can physically give your stepkids.

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If you are looking for more practical tools and tips on thriving at the holidays, check out my book with Gayla Grace: Unwrapping the Gift of Stepfamily Peace. Available at amazon, itunes, kobo and all major e-retailers.

 

Every person has their joys and their struggles. And every person feels support and encouragement when they find others who are navigating their same journey.

One of the greatest blessings of our stepmom community is the encouragement, inspiration, support and understanding we give each other. We are authentic about our struggles while striving to remain positive and without putting others down.

To better understand the needs of stepmoms, I have teamed up with @RedHeadStepmom on Twitter to conduct an intensive survey to understand the many relationships in a stepmom’s life and how it impacts her “happiness quotient.”

The survey is being sent to stepmoms via email in order to preserve the integrity of the data (to ensure stepmoms only fill it out). This is an important research study and we want to hear from YOU!!!

Please email me at heather@cafesmom.com to participate in the survey.  The results will be shared on my site in December and will be sent to those who provide resources to stepmoms. Please email me today!

By better understanding our challenges and our joys, we can better serve YOU!

Encouragement. Support. Inspiration. Resources. Together our stepmom community is strong!

 

 

Thank you so much for participating. YOUR Voice Matters. You MATTER!!!!

Today is a special day for a few reasons. First, the United Nations has designated November 16th as International Day of Tolerance. And because of that @redheadstepmom has designated today as Take Your BM (the mother of your stepkids) to Work Day.

@Redheadstepmom told me she had the idea for @TakeBM2Work2012 because she thought it would be fun for Stepmoms to invite their BMs (or representations thereof) to walk a mile in their shoes for a day, be it at the workplace, home or school, and perhaps improve relationships through communication and understanding.  I believe that is something most stepmoms wish for.

She and another amazing stepmom, @LovingStepMom on Twitter, started posting about this day. Before long, lots of stepmoms were inquiring more about bringing the

stepmom help, stepmom resources, my kids mom is driving me nuts

Both mom and stepmom leave footprints on the the children they share. Work together for positive imprints.

mom of their stepkids to work.

As I thought about it, this thought came to my mind (as it has many, many times)….

I would love for the mom of my stepdaughters to know the depth of my heart for my family, for her two daughters. I never want her to be threatened by my presence but rather at peace with it.

Have you ever longed for the mom of your stepkids to understand the journey you walk? Have you ever wished she would accept your presence in her children’s lives? Do you ever think… ‘does she know the impact her hurtful words/actions towards me and her ex are having on the kids’?

Maybe you have a great relationship with the mom of your stepkids. If so, then you live the blessing that occurs when all parents put their egos aside and parent with the best interest of the kids in mind but sadly that isn’t the case for many stepmoms.

So taking my kids mom to “work” with me would be great. I would love for her to see what I do daily and not from a work perspective but from a heart perspective.

Since I can’t take their mom to “work” with me given I’m a custodial stepmom, here are the things I would want the mom of my stepdaughters to know about a typical day for me and the steps I take out of love each day ……

  • I wake up every morning with the attitude that I will do my best.
  • I make sure your daughter’s have clean clothes and warm meals.
  • I’ve taught them the value of dressing modestly. I’ve bit my tongue when they want to wear some outlandish accessory but spoke up when their shirts were too low cut. I protect them.
  • I teach them to respect themselves.
  • I’m home when they get off the bus. I listen to the drama of the day. I’m there when they cry because they didn’t get invited to a birthday party. I listen to them share about a crush that they “just can’t tell dad about.”
  • I offer advice on how to make friends, how to talk to a teacher when they don’t agree with a grade… I help them make life choices.
  • I’ve had to have the puberty talk with each (and yes, the sex talk). I’ve shared my experience and cried silent tears when they ask me “how old was my mom when she started her period?” There are so many questions I can’t answer for them.
  • I helped them each buy their first bra and talked to them about the importance of “good support.”

These aren’t conversations that I relish having with them but as the mom in the house, it is my responsibility. If not me, than who….

  • I’ve worked hard to build into them that their worth is not in the clothes they wear or the boys that like them. They are worthy because God loves them. I’ve taught them that they have to love themselves first.
  • I’ve been there for questions that they don’t feel comfortable going to dad about.
  • I’m teaching them to cook and why they should make their bed every morning before they leave the house.
  • I give them daily chores and make sure that they do them.
  • I’ve corrected them when they’ve made a poor choice or lied. And I’ve yelled at them at times as I have my own kids. I’ve also asked them to forgive me when I have had a harsh word. I want all my kids to understand the power of asking for forgiveness and receiving it.
  • I monitor the books they read and the movies they watch.
  • I get them to practice on time (most days).
  • I take them to church and small group and have a close group of adult women I trust that they know they can go to if they feel they can’t come to me on something. I am building a circle of trust for them.
  • I love their dad and I support him.  I take care of the house so when he comes home he can just hang out with the kids. I do that so he has more time to pour into his girls and my kids as well.
  • I tell them you love them.
  • I tell them they are going to be okay. I tell myself that too.
  • I’m here everyday.

But being a stepmom is not a glamorous job. Honestly, it is the most difficult and thankless role I’ve ever had. It has tested my patience and endurance. Through it all I have learned a lot about myself. I am stronger, braver, more courageous than I ever gave myself credit for. I am modeling that for the kids in our home.

Things have gotten much better but I want you to know that I am committed to this family. I am committed to loving your girls through it all.

I have endured much in my role. I’ve been sworn at by my youngest stepdaughter. Spit on (by the same one). I’ve had those four dreaded words “YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER” screamed at me when I’ve had to enforce a consequence.

The job of stepmom truly tests a woman’s character and her endurance. Many things I’ve endured “on the job” as many of us have would make most people run. Far. Away. But I get up every morning and try my best. I know the pain my youngest stepdaughter spews at me is just that – her pain. I’m trying my best to love her through that.

Moms, please know as stepmoms we are loving your kids through their life. Love. Yes, love. No one can have too much love. Please don’t be threatened by the presence of a stepmom in your children’s life but rather accept the love they bring.

We don’t become stepmoms because we want to take over the mom’s role. We become stepmoms because we fall in love with a man with children. When we marry him we commit to caring for and nurturing his children.

It is a blessing to you the mom and your kids that we take that role seriously.

The above is a glimpse into my heart as the stepmom of my two stepdaughters. And I want to leave you with these quotes on this International Day of Tolerance and Take Your BM to Work Day:

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Don’t judge any woman until you have walked two moons in her moccasins.” - American Indian Proverbs

Just as we don’t want the mom of our stepkids to judge us, we too have to be sensitive to them. We don’t know what they are going through and what motivates them. Would be interesting for them to give us a glimpse into their heart and their fears. As women, it is our heart and our fears that have the power to propel us forward or get us stuck. We all have hurts and burdens and we deal with them in different ways. Being compassionate towards one another can go a long way. Hard to do but important.

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If you could tell the mother of your stepchildren one thing, what would it be? Are you participating in TakeBM2Work2012?

 

Family Game Night. Three words that can bring sheer joy or agony to my home. Not sure about you but many of our family game nights in the past have gone awry. And I take responsibility for it.

Looking back, it was the family game nights where I imposed my agenda on the family that typically went off course. Trying to get all eight of us to sit around the kitchen table to play a classic board game from my youth sounded great in theory but things seem to get unraveled during the execution. “This is boring,” “my mom hates this game,” “this game is to hard for me to play,” and the list of complaints went on and on….

I love and believe in family game night! As a mom and stepmom, I am committed to building family memories and know that family game night helps do just that. The word “step” adds some extra complexity to plans and I knew it was important to be flexible in what I defined as family game night. Determined to make it fun, I asked the kids to plan a night. From food to games…. they got to do it all.  Guess what? It was great!

While we feasted on M&Ms and potato chips (not what I would have cooked up) we also played video games. At first, I wanted to resist as I was a die hard board game player but had committed to trying things their way so I gave in and grabbed a Wii controller. 

That first video game night was amazing! My husband and I played video games with the kids and it was fun and enlightening.

During video game night, we all take turns playing and the games adjust to levels so age isn’t as much of a factor in game choice. We are active. We are laughing. We are in the same room. We are getting exercise. Best of all…. WE ARE CONNECTING!!!! We are making memories. We are building a family history for our stepfamily.

I have to admit that I am a video game convert now. My brothers who would play pong for hours years ago would be proud of me and my conversion.

There are so many great and interactive games out there. I love the active sports games like Mountain Sports (I get to go tubing and skiing without injury and getting cold) and I love playing the games my kids like. While I don’t get Skylanders, playing with my boys is a way to connect. My girls love Puppy Luv and giggle when I do it “wrong.” My husband loves to race the kids playing Hot Wheels and Ferrari Challenge. With the holidays approaching, I’ll definitely be looking to add some games to our list. My boys have already put Giant Skylanders and an Xbox Kinect on their list.

While I love playing these games with my family, we have not abandoned the board games. My husband and I find ourselves playing board games with one or two kids and that affords us more one on one time with the kids. And we are still known to pull out Apples to Apples, Beat the Parents, Monopoly, Life and Clue for the family. Games in general are great for families and being flexible in what, when and how we play makes a difference!

Because I have come to love playing video games with the kids I was so excited to see that Activision is hosting a Family Game Summit November 13th. I will be attending and hope you will be too. Here is the info to register to attend this free online family game summit:

 

ACTIVISION FAMILY GAME SUMMIT

Activision’s Family Game Summit is an event to learn how Activision is transforming family game night with the hottest video games this holiday season. Hosted by actress, author, entrepreneur, and most importantly mom, Soleil Moon Frye! Supported by a panel of experts in their field including Nicole Armstrong from Activision, Suzanne Kantra from Techlicious.com, and Patricia Vance, President of the ESRB. You’ll walk away with a wealth of knowledge on how to use video games to bring families together.

Sign up to attend the event online and view the live broadcast at www.activision.com/family at 1 PM EST on November 13, 2012.

Please join us. As stepmoms, we are committed to our family and always looking for ways to connect. Playing video games with your kids and stepkids is a great way to laugh, connect and build memories. It is those common memories that build a family history. See you Tuesday for amazing tips and ideas on Family Game Night!!!

Note: When I saw the summit, I applied to be an online hostess. Please know I am not receiving any financial compensation for being an online hostess or for sharing this information. I will be receiving some items to test out for taking part in the summit. The views in this post are completely my own. I believe in Family Game Night!

Day 31: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)

We did it!!!! Thirty one days ago, I said “sure I’ll vlog for 31 days,” not really knowing what I was getting into because I hadn’t done much vlogging at all. A few days in, I thought I’ve got to take this day by day because thinking of it all at once is overwhelming.

Today, I am grateful to have power back on and I am grateful to say I stuck it out. I vlogged everyday. Even in the dark with my flipcam. I took it day by day and I completed my challenge.

Often, the road ahead with our stepfamily can seem daunting. We can convince ourselves that there cannot be light at the end of the tunnel. But there is. In my last vlog of Vlogtober, I’m sharing with you lots of stuff (I totally go off topic many times so please forgive me in advance as I’m a little giddy to have power again) and urging you to take it day by day and focus on the blessings of the day.

Takeaway: When we look at what we face it can be challenging. When we chunk it up and focus on each day, life seems more dobable and the blessings seem more clear. You are stronger than you think. You bring so much to your family. Never ever let go of that. Stepmom friends remember to always Stay Strong and Press On!

Day 30: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)

Today, you get a sneak peak into my blessed chaos (title of a book I want to write in the future).

Our area of Cleveland was hit hard by Sandy and we lost power Monday night. I had committed to vlogging daily so I got out my flip cam and decided to interview the kids as we were having a “camp out” in the family room.

Here’s what they had to say about the power outage. Caution: this video contains high drama. The kids were eating dry goods and canned goods all day (i.e. peanut butter, bread, cookies, snacks) and I am putting the silliness of their “priorities” on sugar.

Takeaway: My takeaway during this power outage is that I as long as I have my family, I have what I need. I will never understand why these things happen but I will tell you I felt God’s hand on our family. I felt an amazing sense of peace which I know came from my prayers and not from my own strength. Spent time with the kids. Laughed. Giggled. Played cards. My husband and I worked together to keep the house running. It is never easy to walk through tough times. Looking for the blessings in the burdens does help.

Hope this video brings a smile to your face. Remember to Stay Strong. Press On.

Day 29: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)

Today, I am getting my carpets cleaned. While the carpets look good in my home, my husband insists that there is so much dirt in there that once they are cleaned… they’ll look and feel much better.

He’s right. This made me think about what is inside of me. I understand and believe in the power of forgiveness and when someone wrongs me (once), I work through it and forgive. I feel the benefits of forgiving.

But what happens when someone continues to do the same thing over and over? Is there a chance that while we say we forgive, we are building up a wall of protection/bitterness deep inside? We do have to protect ourselves but we also need to dig down and understand whether we are protecting ourselves from future hurt or whether we are we impacting our ability to live and trust other people in our lives.

In today’s vlog, I’m sharing what it means to forgive. It may not be what you think.

Takeaway: Do you have to do some deep emotional cleaning? Scrubbing ourselves periodically opens us up to love and live and gets rid of “junk” just sitting there and adding negativity to our life.

What do you think about forgiveness? Do you struggle with having to forgive someone over and over again?

Day 28: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)

When we bring two families together we are bringing together two family histories. As stepmoms, it can be frustrating when we are helping to raise a child with whom we had no hand in laying the foundation during those first few years.

Today, I am speaking candidly about the challenges of merging those two histories as I recently had a reminder when I went to purchase each of the kids’ favorite childhood books. My stepchildren’s mom and I put a different emphasis on reading when kids were younger. Doesn’t make one of us better than the other… just different.

Takeaway: Do you struggle with the fact that you and the mom of your stepkids do things differently? Do you find it hard when you have the best of intentions but it isn’t met with acceptance because you aren’t doing things like mom? You are not alone. Understand that it IS a challenge to blend two family histories.

What is your take on this topic?

Day 27: 31 Days of Life in the StepMom Trenches (Vlogtober)

My husband often texts me thoughts he has throughout the day. He is very insightful and plugged into his faith and his wise words give me something to chew on for the day.

In today’s vlog, I’m sharing this gem that he shared with me: “You cannot love well that or who you are trying to control.”

Takeaway: What does this quote mean to you? Do you ever find that you either consciously or unconsciously try to control things in your life over which you have no control?

 

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